Gay Hookup Apps Reddit
A concerned mother turned to an LGBT Reddit forum for advice after she discovered her 15-year-old son was gay and using the gay ‘hook-up’ app, Grindr.
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Reddit user Grindr_mom shared the following message asking for help and advice:
Lol screenshot grindr Dating Apps humor humour funny pics funny images funny gay hookup app. P sure I found Malcolm In The Middle’s dad on Grindr?! Lol screenshot grindr Dating Apps humor humour funny pics funny images funny gay hookup app malcolm in the middle. At least he’s consistent. Thanks for reblogs! Trying out new dating or hook up apps can be tough. Whether you're gay, bi, DL, or questioning, we've found the best app for you. See how we've ranked Grindr, Scruff, Tinder, Sniffies and others. Ever since I was young I always wanted to be with another guy. I use to make out with one of my neighbors and that’s when I realized I like guys. So I recently downloaded scruff and GROWLr because I recently turned 18. I felt that it’s time to explore my sexuality, the problem is that I keep canceling or get to nervous to go.
I’m a 35 year old single mom. My son turned 15 in January. Last night I was at a party, and a gay friend of mine was showing me some funny messages he got on Grindr. It buzzed a couple times while we were looking at it and I realised I have been hearing those tones in my apartment.It’s not really a shock to (kind of) find out my son is gay. I’ve kind of had my suspicions. What I don’t know is what to do now. On the one hand, I don’t want to force him to say anything to him until he’s ready, but on the other hand I don’t want him using Grindr (I have nothing against it, I use online dating sites myself, he’s just too young).
I’m going to have to say something about it, but I’d appreciate any advice about how I should go about this.
One user offered this piece of advice: “if you haven’t already, begin by discussing on-line dating apps, both the positive and negatives. include that most of them require the person using them to be at least 18 years old and that there is a reason for that. treat him as if he is getting close to adulthood (which he is) and that he needs to understand that his actions have consequences – not only for him but for any men (or women, if he is str8) who message him thinking he is 18+.i would suggest not searching his phone. especially since you may not want to see what he has on there. if your gay friend is at all close to your son, ask your friend to have a conversation with him. it will be easier and much less embarrassing for you son and you.”
RELATED: Closeted Gay Teen: “Today I Discovered My Homophobic Dad Is Using Grindr”
Another wrote: “If he’s sharing explicit photos of himself he could find himself in a whole world of legal trouble. He could be charged with making and distributing child pornography. Anybody who receives those images could find himself in a load of trouble. If he actually meets anybody, that could be a legal nightmare for the person too. Those are only the legal issues. Others have already pointed out the other dangers. If your son is gay you need to give him a different kind of sex education. He needs to be educated about the importance of condoms, about the dangers of hooking up with people he meets on apps, and about the risks involved in messing around with older men. You might try PFLAG for resources.”
“Grindr_mom – no matter how this works out, goddamn – you sound like a badass mom any man would be lucky to have as his own,” another user wrote. “I’m sure your son will be fine and you’ll do the right thing. :)”
RELATED: Girlfriend Snoops On Boyfriend’s Phone, Discovers He’s Been Talking To Guys On Grindr
A few days later, Grindr_mom shared this update post:
We went for lunch and I started my talk about dating apps. He asked what brought this on. I lied, badly. He accused me of looking through his phone. I denied it. He didn’t believe me. I blurted out that I’d heard what I’d heard and I knew what it was and I didn’t want him having it. He mumbled “OK, fine” and changed the subject. When we finished he said he wanted to walk home and would see me later. I got home and shortly after got a text saying “I guess you know then. I’m gay. I’m sorry.” I replied saying “You have nothing to worry about. I love you.” and then a load of “I’ll always love you, I just want you to be happy” cliches that I had promised myself I wouldn’t do but I couldn’t think of anything else.
He got back, went to his room for a bit, then came out for dinner and I reiterated all the cliches again and we chatted about stuff. Eventually I get back to the topic of dating apps and say he’s not allowed it. There was a bit of protestation that he only talks to people his age and that “everyone has it” but I put my foot down and said that it’s not safe and that I can and will check the phone anytime I feel like it. I offered my compromises, i.e. that I will happily lat him go to any LGBT event/group for people of his own age and it was begrudgingly accepted.
RELATED: Mother Turns To Internet For Help After Catching Her Husband On Grindr
I kind of screwed this up. I should have waited longer and dealt with it with a clearer mind. That said, I think it could have been worse.
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“You are being hard on yourself,” one commenter wrote. “Seems like it went fine to me. When my mom confronted me about being gay, she did it with a bible in hand, spewing fire and brimstone. Even after all of that we are close again and she accepts me. He’s lucky to have a good mom, and he will see that soon enough. You did well, I think.”
Do you think mom did the write thing? Share your own words of wisdom below in the comments section.
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You’re in luck! You’ve just stumbled upon the most comprehensive, detailed and thorough information available on the web on this very subject! For the purposes of time saving, this article will only cover sources that are either completely free substantially free.
By “substantially free” I mean that the services remain useful and comfortable to use as a free user, where the paid options may add additional features but the main purpose of using the site isn’t hidden behind a paywall and teasers.
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Where and How Do We Find Someone To PNP?
This is one of those golden questions that we of the tweaker variety tend to find ourselves asking soon as we take a hit.
Gone are the days of Craigslist personals and Backpage, and partiers are not met with warm reception on many of the large mainstream hookup sites.
The question then becomes: 'How then do we find each other?'
Luckily for you, I have already done the research!
So, mainstream apps like Facebook dating and Tinder are out of the question. Doublelist, the self-proclaimed 'replacement for Craigslist classifieds' actively tracks down and permanently bans our accounts. This is clearly NOT a viable option!
There are sites like Reddit and Twitter, as well asMotherless, where many of us congregate - but with no built in mechanism for searching for other people by distance and location - coupled with their massive international network of registered users, finding someone local proves to be a next to impossible task.
However, there are alternatives:
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Forums Specifically For the PNP Community:
An insider tip lead me to these two soon to be gems, Both in development and soon to be released:
Two sister tube sites will be launching PNP Hookup forums to complement their respective PNP Porn sites, and turn them into more of a community.
PNP Specific Forums:
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Alternative Dating Sites:
Forget about POF, Tinder and OkCupid - you might have marginal success or most likely close to success and then get the inevitable ban on your account.
What is there instead? There are some smaller niche dating sites that have active communities intent to attract our people!
One site that seems to be gaining quite a bit of traction in the Straight pnp scene is Letshangout.com - one good thing about this is that it is both small enough to allow you a good amount of exposure while being large enough to have plenty of options in just about any area. Personally, I reside in a relatively medium sized city (roughly 80000 residents, maybe a hundred and ten thousand within a 30 mile radius) and I have had no problems finding locals.
Another that I can recommend, as a close second to the above would be UptownDate.com . It has a slightly smaller reach than letshangout, but much like the former, it is a promising upstart that tends to draw a lot of our people. Who knows? It may be the reverse in terms of popularity soon.
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PNP Chat Groups:
These are not the old fashioned chat rooms that those of you over 30 will remember from AOL back in the day, but some of them might bear some resemblance to them, at least I have found it to be true.
One such example of this would be Kik (the app). You can search for various chat groups based on keywords, and odds are you won't have much trouble finding a PNP Hookup group dedicated to your location or a nearby location.
PNP Friendly Social Networks:
So the big guys are out of the question for a number of reasons, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and now Tumblr…
There are plenty of others that are PNP friendly and have a lot of us on there, and are definitely a lot of fun to frequent and view and share pnp related content, such as (the biggies Twitter and Reddit) as well as the upstarts NewTumbl.com BDSMLR.com Youllo.net Sharesome.com and swarmr.com - and they would most definitely be my list of selections for this category IF they offered the ability to search for people based on location or distance. Sadly, that is not the purpose of those particular sites nor do they offer that functionality.
However, there are a few that do:
FetLife is an excellent source whether you be gay straight or bi and have a Kinky streak. They offer searchable user profiles, Classified ads, groups (essentially forum posting), private messaging between users, and the ability to share media such as pictures and video, they also have the Shoutbox, which allows you to see everything people post in their Shoutbox in real time whether you are connected them or not although that has no geographic filtering, just a fun feature.
Another social network that has been garnering a ton of pnp fandom is Mewe. For the uninitiated, me.we is what is referred to as a decentralized social network where free speech prevails. Somewhat like what Mastodon is, but more feature-rich, less confusing and more popular. How you go about finding your communities is you can do a search for groups, and search for PNP, party, etc (we know our keywords) and join groups that way. A lot of our people have our chat groups set to private though meaning only invited people can see them even in search. The trick to getting into those is this:
Do a search for users using the same tactic you just used to search for groups. Send friend requests out to everyone with a screen name of that sounds like a fit for our goals and has a profile picture. Make sure you post something cool or funny or sexy and have a profile picture yourself. Ask them for invitations to groups. DONE.
Huge amounts of daily users and huge potential for local hookups whether you are gay straight or bi.
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PNP Friendly Social Networks:
So the big guys are out of the question for a number of reasons, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and now Tumblr…
There are plenty of others that are PNP friendly and have a lot of us on there, and are definitely a lot of fun to frequent and view and share pnp related content, such as (the biggies Twitter and Reddit) as well as the upstarts NewTumbl.com BDSMLR.com Youllo.net Sharesome.com and swarmr.com - and they would most definitely be my list of selections for this category IF they offered the ability to search for people based on location or distance. Sadly, that is not the purpose of those particular sites nor do they offer that functionality.
However, there are a few that do:
FetLife is an excellent source whether you be gay straight or bi and have a Kinky streak. They offer searchable user profiles, Classified ads, groups (essentially forum posting), private messaging between users, and the ability to share media such as pictures and video, they also have the Shoutbox, which allows you to see everything people post in their Shoutbox in real time whether you are connected them or not although that has no geographic filtering, just a fun feature.
Another social network that has been garnering a ton of pnp fandom is Mewe. For the uninitiated, me.we is what is referred to as a decentralized social network where free speech prevails. Somewhat like what Mastodon is, but more feature-rich, less confusing and more popular. How you go about finding your communities is you can do a search for groups, and search for PNP, party, etc (we know our keywords) and join groups that way. A lot of our people have our chat groups set to private though meaning only invited people can see them even in search. The trick to getting into those is this:
Do a search for users using the same tactic you just used to search for groups. Send friend requests out to everyone with a screen name of that sounds like a fit for our goals and has a profile picture. Make sure you post something cool or funny or sexy and have a profile picture yourself. Ask them for invitations to groups. DONE.
Huge amounts of daily users and huge potential for local hookups whether you are gay straight or bi.
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PNP Friendly Hookup Apps
So you probably won't be finding much PNP action on OkCupid or Baidoo… but luckily, those are not the only options.
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Depending on your sexual orientation here are some apps available on both Android and iOS that will almost guarantee success:
The Communities yo
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For Gay or Bisexual men (or the 'curious' or 'so high they don't care who does them') there is:
Adam4Adam - one of the oldest hookup apps out there for gay man, if not the oldest with an app, is Adam4Adam. This is one that used to be at one point the largest hook-up site and app, however the gays are a fickle bunch and like to constantly pursued the newest and next thing so it is lost considerable popularity. That being said, I list this is my first choice because it does have enough usage in most areas to get the job done and, unlike all the other apps, it actually lists 'PNP' as one of the options in your profile under 'looking for' AND allows you to search specifically for 'looking for: PNP' and sort by distance!
Grindr - although not everybody on their is party-friendly, and grinder has cracked down on certain things such as what words or emojis can be used, luckily our terminology is forever changing and forever updating, so you shouldn't have too much trouble conveying your wants on your anonymous profile or screen name and there are typically plenty of men in the area looking for pnp now.
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For Straight PNP People There Is:
Whisper, although it is not specifically for PNP people, this completely anonymous app enables you to get in contact with like-minded individuals through what are called 'whispers'... You can reply to whispers that other users posted either by direct private message or with a whisper that is shown publicly in response to their whisper, same concept as a comment on a Facebook share or a Reddit post or tweet, but in the whisper format which is easier to grasp by actually seeing it as opposed to me explaining it. You can locate these whispers either with their default method which is all whispers near you sorted by distance, and you can also join groups based on specific interest and/or localities which serve as a more anonymous, per capita more naughty, and more locations centric version of subreddits with whispers as the post format
In addition to whisper, both of the social networks listed in the previous section can
very easily be considered numbers 2 and 3 for this category.
Me.we, out of the two, is the more trendy one which has it's app posted both on Google Play and the Apple app store. It's app is also much more robust and user-friendly the functionality is 100% there to the point where I had been using it for a month, built up a following of over 1500, become a member of posted in it and even created a few groups before I even realized that there was a desktop version!
FetLife is another one that if you are both a partier and a kinkster, which most of us tend to be, will very much appeal to you. Their app is not available in either the Google Play store or the Apple app store, largely because they make no qualms about exactly what the site is about and what it's for and what they represent which is commendable. Luckily, their extreme popularity makes it to where it does not hurt them at all to have their mobile app only available for download directly from their site. Their mobile app is nowhere near as functional as mewe, but it certainly gets the job done and will definitely send you the notifications you need when you receive messages from party people.
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Classified Ads & Personals:
With Craigslist personals and Backpage out of the picture and doublelist being double douchey, are options in this regard are not as great as they used to be, but some do exist.
One place where we can find such listings would be casualx this site also has an app on Google Play and the Apple app store, it is somewhat of in between Craigslist ads and one of the more robust apps for hookups. It definitely does the job though.
Pernals also has a classified section that is frequent it more by PNP People than non PNP people, but it's also not that heavily trafficked
For gays: nastykinkpigs has a classified functionality as well and an enormous underground user base.
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Social Tube Sites:
if you can try your eyes away from the pouring for a second when you visit one of these sites, you will also notice that there is a social component to all of these. There is a reason why a lot of these sites will come to you to create a profile. It enables you to not only be seen when you post or comment on videos that come up in your search, it also in the cases of the following, enables you to search for other members and chat with them as well based on specific search queries, along with gender and sexual orientation or preference, age etc. And if they have filled out their profile completely and dropped one or two of our keywords somewhere in the profile either in this screen name or in the content of the profile you should have no trouble finding them.
That said, you can sort by distance. You can use the advanced search functionality to Target as narrowly as you really need to, but the more specific you are the fewer you're going to find. Or, alternatively, you can also sort by distance and who is online. If it is 2, 3 or 4 in the morning where you are, and they are online at the moment, odds are they are one of us!
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These tubes I mention, where I have had personal success, include Motherless, XVideos, and Xtube. Arguably pornhub as well. There really is no need to break this category down by gay or straight, as there are plenty of all orientations on all of the above tube sites and it would be almost equally easy to find party people on any of those sites.
Conclusion:
Well ladies and gentlemen, party people of the world, my PNP peeps, there you have it - some of the best sources on the internet by cell phone tablet or laptop, to find your local PNP people next time you're looking to hook up. Perhaps this will save you some time, happy hunting!
Sincerely,
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ThePrtyGuy
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